Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
