when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So apparently I’m into choking now
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