So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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