Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
