Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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