You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
