In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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