I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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