So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
