the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
