I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
please don't ironically join a cult
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