the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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