It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
