Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
