Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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