His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
