Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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