I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
