Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
