: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
