i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
