You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
