I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No subtext here. People are naked.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
