u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
