my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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