well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
