Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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