it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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