Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
