We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
