would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
