Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got inside last night via doggy door
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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