I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
