Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
