32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
