Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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