Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
