loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
