grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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