I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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