So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
