I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
