think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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