its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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