yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
