I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my sisters under your porch take her home
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
