Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
