So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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