If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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