Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
