i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
